newwinds - 新風

Disconnected

I’ve been caught with fleeting feelings. Like a film, discontinuous, cut-up into individual frames. Each frame entirely disconnected yet also connected.

My mind is losing it’s continuity and maybe I am losing my mind. Lacking a sense of beginning or past, days feel like dreams. Unsure how it started, how I ended up here.

Floating along without grounding, being careful to not escape from this earth. I’m untethered, missing my anchor.
Carried by the wind, without direction or agency. I lack propulsion, an engine.

Time passes. Seconds or hours have no distinction. It all just appears and disappears, without warning or memory.

Waiting, waiting for a train that might come, at some indefinite future. Unknown to all, expect the conductor.

How much longer will I wait?
I do not know.

Am I moving closer?
I do not know.

Am I dreaming?

#personal