Being Alone
Being alone is the hardest thing for humans. Not incidentally like waiting for an hour while your housemate does groceries, or waiting for your partner to come home from work. No, being alone. Alone in life. Having no-one to share your life with.
There's a reason we talk about social isolation, bullying, anti-social behaviour as causes and symptoms of the most horrible situations in life.
We are predominantly social animals, and everything in our psyche is built around this. We crave social connection, it is as much necessary to survive as is water and food.
I firmly believe our purpose in life is to maximize meaningful social connection. We can compromise on the frequency, or the quality, but compromise too much and we lose ourselves. The one thing that makes life worth it, is to be seen. To be seen by people, living your life. Whether that's a partner, or a loosly connected group of friends, or family, it is to be seen by them.
However, there are some lessons to be learned in being alone. Those that cannot be alone can come across as needy, high-maintenance. In being alone we learn a lot about ourselves, about who we are and why. In some ways loneliness can hold up a mirror.
Loneliness is also the worst environment for applying those lessons learned. It's paralyzing. As isolation breeds further isolation. An anxiety of rejection can build up, constant reflections cause spiraling thoughts and emotions and before you know it ... there's a crash.
To escape being alone is one of the oddest things, it can be the smallest thing that starts a feedback loop much like the negative spiral. The smile of a barista, a brief but pleasant conversation the next day, and the ball starts to pick up speed.
Being alone is something we need at certain points in our life. Hopefully not too long, not too intense. We should all be seen, considered and thought of.